


Lesson One

by beadedslipper



Series: Lessons Learned [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Rule 63, Teacher AU, fem!Bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 15:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beadedslipper/pseuds/beadedslipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella Baggins' world is rocked when troublesome twins Fili and Kili enter her second grade class.  Their uncle Thorin isn't any easier on her nerves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lesson One

Bella Baggins had seen it all. She was a school teacher after all. 2nd grade to be precise. The absolute worst age if you wanted anything to ever make sense again. The _antics_ her children got up to…well, suffice it to say, Bella had seen it _all_.

  
So when she said that Fili and Kili Vilison were two of the most unmitigatedly troublesome mischief makers you could darn well believe her.

  
Putting glue in the soap so people’s hands would stick together, constantly talking in a strange, made-up language they called Khuzdul, braiding the hair of nearby students, with or without their permission. She tried separating their desks and gave it up after they just started playing cross-classroom hot potato. With an actual potato. She had no idea how they got that. Fili was constantly moving – take your eyes off him for a minute and something was about to be broken – and Kili climbed _everything_. **_Everything_**.

  
It didn’t help that they were little charmers, Fili with his golden looks and earnest blue eyes and Kili with his unruly dark hair and infectious giggles. If she was honest with herself, they were two of her favorites this year and she forgave them every time, even after the Nerf Gun/Salami Debacle. They smiled up at her with those angelic little faces and she just melted. But they certainly gave her hell.

  
And if Fili and Kili were bad, their uncle was worse. Thorin. Thorin _Oakenshield_. A more pretentious name she never heard and he lived up to it. She’d only spoken to the man over the phone when his nephew’s antics had warranted a call home but those phone calls never failed to result in a shouting match. Bella might have a soft spot for Fili and Kili, but that didn’t mean she had to put up with every self-important, condescending, infuriating thing that their uncle said.

  
Today was no different. Fili and Kili had gotten up to some mischief and, due to school policy, Bella was forced to dial the number, now memorized, for Thorin Oakenshield. All she wanted was to have a perfectly rational, reasonable discussion about channeling his nephew’s seemingly boundless creativity and energy. But…

  
“My nephews are highly intelligent boys Miss Baggins.” Every time he said her name that way it made Bella grit her teeth and she knew something awful was about to come out of his mouth. “If you can’t manage to keep them engaged and challenged, then perhaps they ought to be transferred to a teacher with a little more experience.”

  
Bella sucked in a sharp breath. “Mr. Oakenshield. I will thank you not to insult my skills as a teacher. I would like to remind you that this is a school, not a daycare service and your nephews are not the only children I am responsible for.”

  
“Fili and Kili are young. They’re experimenting and will have their fun whether I allow it or no.”

  
Bella snorted. “Really? Boys will be boys? That’s what you’re going with?”

  
She could almost hear his shrug. “If that’s how you want to put it, then yes. I thought you were supposed to be such an expert on children Miss Baggins.”

  
“Always the petty personal attacks with you Mr. Oakenshield. Is it really so impossible for you to have a sensible, adult conversation? It speaks to your intelligence.”

  
“Excuse me…”

  
“Finally, some civility.”

  
Things only ever devolved from there. He really did bring out the worst in her.

  
As if that weren’t bad enough, Parent’s Night was fast approaching and she knew for a fact that, as usual, Fili and Kili’s biological parents wouldn’t be attending. Instead it would be their surly, cantankerous, downright unpleasant uncle.

  
Well, they would be in a room full of other parents and children. Their interaction would likely be minimal. And even if she was forced to talk to the man for longer than it took to say hello and goodbye, _she_ wouldn’t be the one to make a scene. She was a mature, respectable adult. She knew how to be the bigger person.

  
And if Thorin Arsebucket Oakenshield didn’t like it…well, he could shove it somewhere unpleasant.

  
\---

  
Parent’s Night fell on a Friday. Because the school board was sadistic and couldn’t allow her to go home at a reasonable hour for a much-deserved glass of wine.

  
Instead she had stayed and, between three and seven-o’- clock, she cleaned and decorated her classroom to within an inch of its life. She’d had time for an apple and half a bag of goldfish crackers around six-fifteen and the parents started pouring in at five minutes to seven.

  
Now she stood in a room full of all of her children plus their varied caretakers. It was the typical controlled madness but with an extra element of please dear god don’t say something stupid.

  
Everyone was ranged around the room in their respective family groups. There was sweet little Ori. He was quiet and bookish and the total opposite of Fili and Kili. Another favorite. His brother Dori, older by more than twenty years, was his legal guardian. He had also apparently seen fit to bring the sullen middle brother Nori who, to be honest, made Bella a little nervous with the way he seemed to notice anything valuable around the room. She fingered her mother’s pearls around her neck. For some reason or another, their parents had been unfit to care for them and Dori had stepped up, acting as both mother and father to his brothers.

  
Thranduil, pardon her, _Vice-President_ Thranduil, a member of that sadistic school board, stood aloof in his perfect three-piece suit. The man was a stone-cold bastard in Bella’s opinion. If it weren’t for the balancing effect of the president of the school board, Elrond Earendil, Bella was virtually certain Thranduil would have driven them all into chaos. His only redeeming quality was the way he looked at his son, Legolas, like the boy was the brightest star in the sky.

  
And then, of course, there were the terrible twosome. Fili and Kili were, amazingly, contentedly sitting in a corner with a man who could only be their uncle. He was sitting cross-legged, patiently playing blocks with the two little terrors and not losing his temper at all every time Fili or Kili or both of them knocked things down.

  
She hadn’t expected him to be good with the boys. The way Fili and Kili acted, she thought he’d be aloof, negligent, but they clearly worshipped him and he looked like he adored them right back. She hadn’t expected him to be sweet.

  
And she especially hadn’t expected him to be attractive.

  
The first thing she noticed was dark hair and an abundance of it. He wore it long to his shoulders and had a full beard. Bella had never considered herself a fan of hairy men, save for that one three-week fling in college, his feet had been the hairiest she had ever seen. But damn it all if Thorin Oakenshield didn’t make it look good. The lumbersexual movement suddenly made a lot more sense.

  
He wore dark wash jeans and, from what she could see, he wore them well. He paired it with a dinner jacket over a v-neck sweater over a blue-and white striped dress shirt. He must’ve been roasting in that getup, it was only the first week of October, but he looked like something straight out of GQ so Bella guessed she was okay with it.

  
The next thing she knew a happy cry of ‘Miss Bella!’ echoed across the room. Fili and Kili jumped to their feet and their uncle turned his head. She flinched. She could feel herself blushing. Damn him for catching her staring. Ducking her head she crouched to receive Fili and Kili’s enthusiastic hugs.

  
“Hello my boys.” Her smile nearly split her face, her embarrassment cooled by their exuberance. “Are you behaving yourselves?”

  
“Of course.” Fili replied like she hadn’t caught him drawing on one of the other students just that day. At least it was washable marker.

  
“Miss Bella, Miss Bella!” Kili almost tripped over himself in his excitement. He puffed himself up, standing as tall as his little legs would let him. “This is our uncle Thorin!”

  
Bella straightened, dread coiling in her stomach. She knew this moment was bound to come, she just hoped they could refrain from shouting at each other in front of the other parents.

  
At her full height she was a perfectly respectable five-foot-one but when looking straight at Thorin, all she could see was a broad chest, the lean muscles of which were clearly defined through the material of his well-fitted sweater. She looked up and up and up some more. Goodness he was tall.

  
Damn it all. And he had blue eyes. Beautiful, piercing blue eyes and if he weren’t such an unmitigated ass she would be in so much trouble.

  
“Miss Baggins.” Thorin greeted evenly, his expression…tight? Tight was probably the best word for it. His voice belied the unpleasant effect of his look. It rumbled in his chest and she imagined she could feel the vibrations from here. Had his voice always been this deep and sonorous over the phone? And that accent? She was sure she would have remembered that. “It’s good to finally put a face to the voice I’ve heard yelling at me so many times.”

  
Aaannnd her attraction to him died a quick and painless death. With a forced smile she said, “Mr. Oakenshield. Welcome to our classroom. And call me Bella, please. All the parents do.”

  
Thorin’s frown deepened, if that were possible. “You are so familiar with the people who employ you? That seems rather unprofessional.”

  
Bella’s smile grew even more brittle. “You and the other parents don’t employ me Mr. Oakenshield. The school does, partly because I’m good with not only children but also their parents. Getting to know the parents lets them feel a little more comfortable leaving their child in my care. Even if I didn’t care about every child who came into my classroom, it would only be common sense.”

  
“Technically even if your salary were paid by the parents, I wouldn’t be the one paying.”

  
“Oh that’s right.” Thorin had unknowingly touched on a topic that Bella had been curious about since that first phone call. “I’ve often wondered why it’s Fili and Kili’s uncle, and not their mother or father, who answer late-night phone calls about the boys’ behavior.”

 

  
Thorin’s eyes grew hard. “That’s none of your business.”

  
Bella shrugged. “Of course it’s up to you whether you tell me. But, as Fili and Kili’s teacher, it might help me to know of anything that could affect their schooling.” She met Thorin’s disagreeable glare head on, her own expression turning earnest. “I…care about them. Very much. I’m only trying to help.”

  
Thorin stared at her for a long moment, an unreadable look in his eyes. He blinked sharply before answering grudgingly. “Their mother, my sister Dis, is on an extended business trip. She skypes daily with the boys so if you’re thinking their parents were somehow negligent you can stop.”

  
Bella grit her teeth. Why did he always insist on thinking the worst of her? “I…wasn’t thinking that. What about Mr. Vilison?’

  
“Their father died. Afghan war. The boys were only three.”

  
Bella paled. “Oh.” She looked down at Fili and Kili, who were both avoiding her eyes. Kili reached out and Fili latched onto his hand. “I’m…so sorry. I didn’t know.” She crouched down so she was at eye level with the boys. “I lost both of my parents when I was a girl.” She told them.

  
Kili looked up first. “What happened?”

Bella’s smile was sad. “My mother had cancer.”

  
“Did your dad die in war too?”

  
“No, he didn’t. My dad followed my mom because he missed her very much.”

  
Kili looked thoughtful. “Do you miss them?” Fili asked.

  
Bella turned her attention to the older twin. “Of course I do. All the time. But I’ll tell you what,” She reached out and rested a hand on each of the boy’s shoulders, “It gets easier. It stops hurting so much and you start to remember all the things you did that were happy. And until then, if you ever need to talk, I’m always here for you.”

  
Fili scrubbed a hand over his eyes and Kili nodded. “What do you say boys?” Thorin prompted.

  
“Thank you Miss Bella.” They chimed in unison, already happy again and racing off, no doubt on their way to some trouble that she would have to deal with ten minutes from now.

  
Bella straightened again. She ought to have thighs of steel for as much as she crouched and stood for her job. She had the absurd urge to do the bend and snap in front of Mr. Oakenshield and wasn’t _that_ a terrible idea? Yes. Definitely.

  
“You certainly have a way with them.” Thorin rumbled.

  
“Thank you.” Bella replied, brushing invisible lint from the skirt of her dress. It was hunter green with gold trim. It had a flowing skirt that swished agreeably around her knees and was easily one of her favorites. It was professional but also made her feel pretty. Combined with her dark curls and her amber eyes, she flattered herself that the effect was pleasantly striking.

  
“Was it true?”

  
Bella tensed. “I didn’t make it up if that’s what you’re implying.”

  
Thorin hummed noncommittally.

  
Bella sighed. “Of course it was true. My mother had leukemia. She passed away on my fourteenth birthday. My father died in his sleep three days later.”

  
Thorin didn’t reply. Bella was about to make her excuses and go talk to other, more genial, parents when a heavy hand fell on her shoulder. Bella looked up to see those blue eyes watching her carefully. “I’m sorry about your family.”

  
“Thank you.”

  
For a moment, Bella allowed herself to be captured by his eyes. His gaze was so intent that it seemed like he was looking deep into her, past what she presented to the world and down to somewhere that she kept for herself. The moment stretched and she took the opportunity to stare right back. Something told her there was more to this argumentative man than met the eye and she foolishly wondered if she stared long enough perhaps she might be able to puzzle it out.

  
A commotion from across the room shattered whatever was building between them. Bella blinked, taking a step back. Thorin’s hand fell from her shoulder and the spot where it had been felt suddenly cold. “How much do you want to bet that either Fili or Kili is at the center of that?”

  
Thorin grimaced but followed her across the room.

  
Wonder of wonders, neither Fili nor Kili were the clear cause, though they stood nearby with a red-headed boy. Little Gimli. He was the youngest of the year, his birthday falling in late September. He had just barely squeezed past the age restriction. Had he been born a few days later, he would’ve been a year behind the rest of the class.

  
Opposite the boys stood Legolas, looking distinctly unhappy in the shadow of his father. Thranduil was staring disdainfully down his nose at Gimli. Bella sighed. Of course it had to be Thranduil. She had very little power here. Thranduil, as a member of the school board, had the ability to make life very difficult for her if she angered him. She _really_ didn’t want to anger him. But she couldn’t stand idly by.

  
“Excuse me, but is there a problem here?” She interjected, stepping up and, surreptitiously, inserting herself between the boys and Thranduil.

  
Thranduil’s condescension transferred immediately to her. With his white-blond hair and those patrician features, Bella had always privately considered Thranduil the master of the resting bitch-face. Seriously, the man deserved a medal.

  
Not that she would be brave enough to give it to him.

  
“Ah, Miss Baggins.”

  
“Mr. Thranduillion,” Yep. Thranduil Thranduillion. Even more pretentious than Oakenshield if that was possible. “I know I’ve said before that you’re more than welcome to call me Bella. After all, we have a shared goal to educate.”

  
Thranduil apparently chose not to hear her (perfectly friendly) offer. “There is no problem. I was simply explaining to my son the importance of making friends with the appropriate people.”

  
“And what would a tree-shagger know of good friendships?”

  
Bella turned to see Thorin staring at Thranduil with something akin to pure hatred. Goodness. And she thought he disliked her. She certainly hoped Thorin never looked at her that way.

  
“Why are you stepping in?” She hissed.

  
“Gimli’s our cousin!” Kili piped up.

  
Bella glanced at Thorin askance. “Yours?”

  
Thorin blanched. “God no. My cousin’s.”

  
“Your cousin.” She pointed at Fili and Kili. “And your cousin?” Thorin shrugged. Bella decided there were too many inter-related people in her classroom.

  
“Mister Oakenshield.” Thranduil oozed. “What a surprise. Are you still begging for scraps from anyone foolish enough to still speak to you?”

  
“Better an honest beggar than a faithless worm.” Thorin spat.

  
“I am so confused.” Bella muttered hopelessly.

  
Thorin shot her a look before returning his stunning glare to the taller (unlikely as that was) Thranduil. “Mr. Thranduillion’s father and my grandfather were business partners. When both men passed we discovered that my grandfather had made some poor business choices that he failed to inform us about.”

  
“You mean he gambled away any importance your family might have had until you were little better than vagabonds.”

  
Thorin bared his teeth. “We dug ourselves out of the ashes but back when it came to light, Thrandy here decided to disregard generations of alliance and supposed friendship. He took his family’s company away and left us to flounder for a crime none of us had committed.”

  
“You brought it on yourselves.” Thranduil sneered. “And now I’m only trying to keep my son from making the same mistake my father did.”

  
“And what mistake is that?”

  
“Trusting the wrong kind of people.”

  
“You DARE speak to me of trust?”

  
“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Bella barked.

  
Thorin gaped. Thranduil looked like he’d swallowed a lemon. She glared at the two men, hands on her hips.

  
“I don’t care what kind of bad blood is between the two of you, there’s no place for it here. She gestured to the children clustered around them. All of them looked like they were expecting a scolding. “These are _children_. They have nothing to do with any feud or age long hatred and if you try to involve them I promise you it won’t turn out well. Either they’ll try to go behind your backs to see each other or, worse, they’ll turn out as jaded and cold and mistrustful as you.” Bella huffed. “Honestly, have you even _read_ Romeo and Juliet?”

  
“Miss Baggins, you should take care to remember your place. Do you know who you’re speaking to?”

  
“Don’t talk to her like that.” Thorin growled.

  
Bella put her hand on Thorin’s arm. “Mr. Thranduillion. This is my classroom. These children, including yours, are under my care. So yes, I do know my place. It is right where I am. Do you know yours? You have a responsibility to do right by your son. Both of you, look at them. Look at what you’re doing. Does this look right to you?”

  
While the adults spoke, Gimli and Legolas had edged towards each other. Legolas was surreptitiously holding onto Gimli’s sleeve and had his shoulders hunched around his ears. For his part, Gimli was glaring up at Thranduil with all the anger a seven-year old can muster. Kili was gazing wistfully across the room towards a little girl – Tauriel, Thranduil’s niece if Bella remembered.

  
“Everyone should just get along.” Fili muttered, glaring at his shoes.

  
Thorin looked from Bella to his nephews, both of whom looked close to tears. He reached down and ruffled Fili’s hair. “You’re quite right little lion.” Taking a deep breath and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, ‘can’t believe I’m doing this’, he thrust his hand towards Thranduil. “I apologize for what I said. The past should stay in the past. I hope that this will not keep you from allowing our children to be friends. Perhaps we can learn from their example.”

  
Thranduil blinked, clearly stunned. He cleared his throat. “Well. Ahem.” He took Thorin’s hand and shook it once, delicately. “Quite.”

  
Kili beamed up at his uncle, grabbing his brother by the arm and immediately racing them both over to Tauriel who looked like nothing so much as she’d just been invaded by bog monsters. Gimli and Legolas also took advantage, wandering off towards the crayons, Thranduil trailing dazedly behind them.

  
Bella turned to Thorin, a smile on her lips. “That was well-handled.” He told her.

  
“I keep trying to tell you that I’m good at my job. You just won’t listen.”

  
Thorin coughed. “I think it might be safe to say I’ve misjudged you.”

  
Bella blushed. “Yes well, I wasn’t entirely fair to you either.”

  
“No, no. You were only trying to help Fili and Kili. I was, ehm…”

  
“An incorrigible ass?” Bella suggested.

  
Thorin’s brows met his hairline before he smirked. “Well, I was going to say stubborn and prideful, but I guess that works. I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting that to come out of the innocent, little teacher.”

  
“I don’t know where you got the idea that I was innocent.” Bella said, enjoying the way that Thorin swallowed heavily. “And as for little, I think it’s relative when one is verging on the size of an ogre.”

  
Thorin chuckled. “Don’t blame your vertical deficiencies on me.”

  
“I do what I like.” Bella replied, unrepentant.

  
“I’m beginning to realize that.” Thorin took a step closer. “So, I have to ask, when this is all over, would you _like_ to get a cup of coffee?”

  
Bella gave him an appraising look, a smirk teasing at her lips. “That depends. Will there be pie?”

  
Thorin’s expression was affronted but mirth twinkled in his eyes. “Good God, is your opinion of me really so low that you think I’m the kind of barbarian who doesn’t have pie with his coffee?”

  
“Well, you did make a pretty terrible first impression.” She teased.

  
Thorin’s eyes sparkled. “Give me a chance to make it right.”


End file.
